WE DID IT!!
Another year lived.
Another year learned.
Another year to watch the peeps grow ridiculous right before my eyes.
Another year of beauty and ashes, joys and sorrows, victory and defeat…
Breathe out all that got trapped in the holding.on.for.dear.life. breath!!
God is good.
God is faithful.
God is worth living into the next year because He gives us enough to carry on…
to enjoy, to fight, to endure, to succeed, to encourage, to teach, to learn!!
I prayed tearful over the hard of the last year. Words can not even express the painful. It has been too intimate to write and to tender to expose.
Pressed but not crushed.
Persecuted not abandoned.
Stuck down but not destroyed!!
I wondered if I could just keep my heart word of this past year, community, and still hope it be birthed in the next months…I am not sure but I had to plant it like a seed in soil prepared and open my hands for the next.
Almost to weary for more lessons. More fighting the good fight. More reading…learning…pleading before the throne of grace…bone tired…I held up hands to receive.
But let your adorning be the hidden person of the HEART with the imperishable beauty of a GENTLE and QUIET spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. (I Peter 3:4)
That is more than one word…and I knew deep that I had to let each.word.soak.in.
Days passed and I read words over and over waiting.
Pouring over this very blog from the beginning archiving my words of the past four years. I realized some things. I needed so desperately to be heard!! To find my voice and spirit giving words for them to anchor my soul. I needed to shout and express all that I was healing, learning, experiencing as if they would be lost if not published on public pages.
It was healing. It was necessary. It was a season.
With a joyful heart, just last night I realized, I no longer NEED to be heard!! I have found MY VOICE! I am being led beyond blogging my very heart to something more.
This years word is….
I need to cultivate the HIDDEN person of my heart.
LISTEN…to God. to others. to my husband. to my children. to my body and spirit. to my surroundings. to nature. to lessons. to worship.
So I will be letting BCP go by the end of January. Because, PRAISE JESUS, I no longer need it.